The New Yorker Test
Click on all that apply:
You're
32 Years Old And Don't Have A Driver's License.
You
Ride In A Subway Car With No Air Conditioning Just Because There Are Seats
Available.
You Take The Train Home And You Know Exactly Where On The Platform The Doors
Will Open That Will Leave You Right In Front Of The Exit Stairway.
You
Know What A "regular" coffee Is.
It's
Not 'Manhattan'; It's The "city".
There
Is No North And South. It's "uptown" Or "downtown."
If You're Really From New York You Have Absolutely No Concept Of Where North And
South Are.... (and East Or West Is "crosstown"!)
You
Cross The Street Anywhere But On The Corners And You Yell At Cars For Not
Respecting Your Right To Do It.
You
Move 3,500 Miles Away, Spend 10 Years Learning The Local Language And People
Still Know You're From Brooklyn The Minute You Open Your Mouth.
You
Return After 20 Years And The First Foods You Want Are A "real" Pizza And A
"real" Bagel.
A
550 Square Foot Apartment Is large.
You
Know The Differences Between All The Different Ray's Pizzas.
You Are Not Under The Mistaken Impression That Any Human Being Would Be Able To
Actually Understand A PA Announcement On The Subway.
You Wouldn't Bother Ordering Pizza In Any Other City.
You
Get Ready To Order Dinner Every Night And Must Choose From The Major Food Groups
Which Are: Chinese, Italian, Mexican Or Indian.
You're
Not The Least Bit Interested In Going To Times Square On New Year's Eve.
Your
Internal Clock Is Permanently Set To Know When Alternate Side Of The Street
Parking Regulations Are In Effect.
You
Know What A Bodega Is.
Someone Bumps Into You, And You Check For Your Wallet.
You
Don't Even Notice The Lady Walking Down The Road Having A Perfectly Normal
Conversation With Herself.
You
Pay "only" $390 A Month To Park Your Car.
You Cringe At Hearing People Pronounce Houston St. Like The City In Texas.
The
Presidential Visit Is A Major Traffic Jam, Not An Honor.
You
Can Nap On The Subway And Never Miss Your Stop.
The Deli Guy Gives You A Straw With Any Beverage You Buy, Even If It's A Beer.
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