The Italian Test

Check off all of the following that apply:

YOU KNOW YOU'RE ITALIAN WHEN...

You're 5'2", can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.

Your father owns 4 houses, has $500,000 in the bank, but still drives a 76 Monte Carlo.

You share a bathroom with your 4 brothers, have no money, but drive a $46,000 Camaro or Firebird.

Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.

You consider dunking a cannoli in an espresso a nutritious breakfast.

Your 2 best friends are your cousin and your brother-in-law's brother-in-law.

At least 6 of your cousins live on your street.

All 6 of those cousins are named after your grandfather.

You are on a first name basis with at least 7 banquet hall owners.

There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.

You netted more than $65,000 on your first communion.

At some point in your life, you were a D.J

35 years after immigrating, your parents still say "Pronto" when answering the phone.

You have ever been in a fight defending Sly Stallone's thespian greatness.

You build your house with 3 materials.... brick, brick and wrought iron..

It is impossible for you to talk with your hands in your pockets.

Have been to a funeral where talk of the deceased is, "He shoulda kept his big yap shut."